Okay! It's been 2 weeks after my last attempt and I am feeling pretty good. I got some material lined up in my head and I am cracking myself up as I drive up to Looney Bin. Oh it's going to be a good night. I hope that they forgive me for messing up last time. I arrive and see Brandon P. there waiting outside. He yells at me that I am a fag. That just his way to show his love. We chat, a few more funny people show up and they open the door to let us in. Everything is good so far but I haven't met anyone who works there yet. The girl at the front lets me sign up, yay! She didn't say anything to me about last time. Whoo hoo, still feeling good. Let's see how the barkeep BJ feels. I order a beer (sticking to beer folks no shots!) "Hey BJ, how is it going?" I say. "Oh going pretty good." he replies. "Hey last time you were here, your buddy, we had to throw him and his brother out." "WHAT??" I exclaim. "I just met that dude that night." I think this is maybe not a good thing. I explain I just met that guy, James, there last time and I haven't seen him since. Oh boy, I hope I am not associated with this guy forever.
Time to go in and pick the order of tonight's comics. I figure since I was such a dickhead last time, I will bite the bullet and go first. Done deal. I am on first. I don't mind. If I can warm up a cold crowd a little I figure that is a good test of my comedy skills. Quite a few people are there to get their 4 minutes in on Wednesday night. This should be a good show. I don't even know who the headliner is but it's got to be decent. I'm going back to have some more beers and psych myself up a little. I feel like this will be the best show yet. I got the material outlined in my head. I am just going to start the first story and let it take me where it may. "Oh shit!" I think to myself as I see the owner lady walk by. She is the one who makes the rules. I heard she is the owner. She is definitely telling people what to do. She is my last hurdle to get on stage if I am going to perform this night. I pretend to look away so she won't notice me. Don't want to draw attention to myself. As I sit at the bar, I see her go in and out of the stage area a few times. Then it happens. I see her come out of the door, this time with more authority in her stance, more purpose in her walk. She goes to the guy who is hosting and points her finger to the order list while her other hand is cocked back into a fist resting on her hip very manner of factly. I can read their lips, well not really, at least not until they say my name, "Damon Waters" as she and the host glance up and look right at me as they both say my name. I was already looking at them so I raise my beer to say hi, then the host summons me over with his finger. As I walk over to him, the owner storms back into the stage area, where it is very dark. "She wants to see you in there." he says while pointing to the stage area. I have that flighty feeling in my chest and everything is slow motion. A little tingly all over. I walk through the door. I am scared shitless.
"You are not going on my stage tonight!" she growls at me while pointing her finger in my face. "Not after that shit you pulled last time. You were up there on a roll, doing your thing. Then you broke into 'Fuck this shit' or whatever it was you said and that's like spitting my face. Do you understand me?" I nod and say "Yes." "You are suspended until after April 1st." "Okay." I submissively say. ""Okay" she whips as she spins around to finish whatever she needs to get done before the show. I walk back to the bar, head hung low, heartbroken and defeated. "She said I was on a roll!"
Brandon knows what happened. I tell him I am going to leave and say goodbye. "Don't leave he says." "Well she told me to..." I realize she didn't kick me out. "Ask her if you can stay for the show. Show her that you want to be here." "Yes. I will do that" (thanks Brandon). I go back to her, still scared, but determined. I tell her "I know I did a stupid, shithead thing last time, and I won't bother you with why I did it. I hope you can forgive me and I want to stay and see the show if you will let me." She kind of cracks a half grin, like she is thinking "Oh god you dumb little shithead, I don't give two shits about you but I don't care if you wanna stay. I know you are trying to brown nose me" "Yeah you can stay" she says as she whips back off into the darkness of the stage area. Seriously its dark in there.
I stay for the local comics and thought everyone did pretty good. The whole time though I felt stupid and dumb. I decide I will treat myself to some Asian Zing traditional wings from Buffalo Wild Wings. I just realized Asian Zing kinda sounds a little racist.
I got to BBW and well I will let the video below speak for itself. I realize I sound stupid in it and I am sorry. I am a dumbass half the time. The other half I am a dickhead. I did get my wings free though so.............
Oh yes I decided I am ready for people to come and see me if they so desire. I will invite everyone to a show soon. Sometime after April 1st.
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